Common Mistakes During Dating
29.06. 2017 - Speed dating tip
Are you not successful during dating? Still can't find a serious, long term relationship? Check out if you are not making some of the following mistakes! Sometimes, it does not take much to improve your chances.
- Looking for perfection, being hung up on age or looks - You should focus on mutual compatibility and whether you have a similar views, not on age or looks. At speed dating, people often read too much into the age categories. They see only the lower or the upper limit and ponder: 'I don't want this young' or 'I don't want this old'. And yet, it is just a range. There certainly will not be 10 people just in that certain age. Moreover, you will hardly be able to guess everyone exactly his or her age. Age is just a number and looks also change over time.
- Bad quality, old or inappropriate photo – Picture is the first thing that a person will see on online dating sites. So, you should devote a proper attention to it. Your face and eyes should be clearly visible on your profile picture. And you should smile on it, because you will appear more attractive and likable. Definitely, do not put in your dating profile some imperfect snapshot or a picture that does not reflect your current look. Selfies are fashionable but avoid selfies in front of a mirror, in an elevator or selfies of your cleavage. Such photos look ridiculous and cheap.
- Empty profile – If you really want to find a serious relationship, it is necessary to write something about yourself in your own words. How else do you want to grab the interest of someone else and stand out from the uninteresting gray mass? Nobody has time to write to everyone just to find out some basic information. The profile should already help you decide, if you even want to start some conversation with a person.
- Uninteresting start of a conversation – Maybe someone considers it polite, but starting a conversation with a smiley, 'hi' or 'how are you' has a simple and predictable answer. It will not move you further in the conversation and you will not discover anything interesting about the other person. Rather, it will look like you have not much to say or are not really quick witted. You can find on our web a list of conversation starter question.
- Too much negativity – Even if you find the internet dating a bit tiring, you have not yet found anyone interesting, you have a lot of stress at work and nothing seems to work out for you, it is essential, during your initial contacts on internet or speed dating, to refrain from too much negativity. You will not win too many points by complaining about everything or slandering your ex. It should not be a secret that positive people are more likable and you do want to attract the potential suitor not to turn him/her off.
- Poor communication - During speed dating you only have 4 minutes for your conversation and is therefore really important that it is a conversation not a monologue. If you will talk too much and mainly about yourself, you may be viewed as nervous or self-centered. If you are too taciturn, it may seem that you are not interested in the other person. Communication is a key in charming the other person. Thus, it's advisable to refrain from the boring questions such as 'what is your job', 'what are your hobbies' or those that generate yes/no answers. Read more about how to make conversation at speed dating and elsewhere
- Passivity, lack of initiative – The roles of men and women have changed drastically in the last decades, but it is still expected that man will be a bit of a leader and take the initiative. When planning a date, whether after meeting on the internet or after speed dating, show some initiative. Have at least 2 - 3 concrete ideas up your sleeve about what you could do on your date. You will not probably look very attractive, if a woman will have to dig everything out of you and your attitude will be 'I don't know', 'I don't care', 'You chose something'.
- Neglected preparation for a first date - You would not probably go for a hike in a tuxedo or to a ball in shorts and tennis shoes. Similarly, when you go on a first date (speed dating notwithstanding), you should choose appropriate attire. A date is also a special occasion and so it should be natural to have a sleek, trimmed and neat appearance. Women usually understand it very well, but they can also make mistakes. Some of those being too much make-up or too revealing clothes. Remember, first impression does matter. And it does not mean that you are pretending something, just because you dress a little better than on your usual day.
- Pushing too hard – Both sides make mistakes here. Men are pushing for sex after first or second date, women are too soon planning their future, vacation or talking about kids. Both sides can be overdoing it with texts, emoticons or premature vows of love. At the beginning of dating you don't know each other too well and you should take the initial relationship slowly. Otherwise, you can quickly discourage and scare off the other person.
- Giving up too soon – Looking for the Mr. Right or Mrs. Right can be a bit daunting and depressing. If it were simple and we liked everyone and everyone liked us, we would all have been long taken. You should have realistic expectations. If you don't have a match at speed dating or you did not like anyone, it does not mean that it will be the same every time. You can certainly find the love of your life at your first speed dating, but it will always remain a coincidence. Same counts for the internet dating sites. You have to persevere, because you will not meet anyone by sitting at home.